Circle of Life

One life ends,another begins anew. This was the unusual juxtaposition of my thoughts on a recent Saturday morning in March.  I was in the midst of checking in on my friend and colleague via a direct message on the status of his unborn daughter, when I received a text from my brother that a life long family friend had passed. Immediately upon finishing the text I received a photo reply from my friend announcing the birth of his daughter.  The irony did not escape me as I began to reflect on the passing of my life long family friend.

Ginny Moyer (Miss Ginny as I referred to her in my youth)was the closest thing I ever had to a guardian angel. From the early days of my youth she gave me that extra attention that would make a huge difference in my life. Perhaps it was the knitting of a sweater, or an invitation to swim in her family pool with my siblings, or just a check in to see how things were going. Their were even times that called for a crack on the back side as a reminder that I needed to fly straight. 

Later as an adult with children of my own we spent many Christmas Eve's together

at my Mom's. Ginny and her husband Ralph, still all of these years later always took an enthusiastic interest in our lives.

Now they were watching the evolution of the next generation, and the same warmth that I felt as a child they extended to my children. Over the years Ginny continued to find ways to extend her love to our family. The knitting continued for the children but most importantly her prescence in our lives remained constant.  We were fortunate to share decades of memories and benefitted a great deal from her influence.

Ginny was a kind, selfless individual. She was a person of service who loved her family, her friends, her church and especially children. She was devoted to making life better for others and often went to great lengths to accomplish this.

Over the years when my life became tumultuous, it was her compassion and calming influence that helped to restore order in my life.  I will be forever grateful for her commitment to me and my family.

I don't know what the world has in store for Aubrey Passafero or the impact that she will make upon this world but I have observed first hand the impact that her

parents continue to make.  They are kind, genuine people with strong family values and high standards.  They have made it their lives vocation to serve others as educators of the highest  quality.  With their influence and guidance, their daughter no doubt will eventually put a positive footprint on the world that embodies all of their qualities.

As I look back on that March morning, I reflect with meloncholy upon the passing of my good friend Ginny Moyer. I also look ahead at the promising future of  Aubry Pasafero, the lives she will touch  and the hearts she will warm as well.

"Voices"

Our free speech rights are of the most precious afforded to us by the Constitution of this great nation. However we must recognize that while it creates an informed society it can also cause social discord leading to the polarization of our citizens. While "free speech" is not absolute and certainly carries specific constraints it is the restraint associated with this freedom that we should be more cognizant of.

Currently a movement has been set in motion that is fueling the Republican nomination bid of Donald Trump. This movement seeks to obliterate a "politically correct " mindset and is gaining traction throughout the land. This is both tragic and dangerous. Potentially we risk reversing decades of social progress. We face an almost certain return to a time of social unrest and violence if we permit the cultivation of a mindset that legitimizes the intolerance of cultural diversity.

Our classrooms and our homes are environments where children are educated about the importance of acceptance, respect, tolerance and even the celebration of our diversity.  Yet the rhetoric and ideology of Trump and his supporters consistently disavow the need for these values. 

If we have learned from the grevious mistakes of our past, then we must do everything to prevent the future generations from inheriting an environment in vast need of social and cultural repair.  We must be careful with who we empower to serve as our voice on near and distant shores. The leadership choices that we make currently and in the near future 

could bring catostrophic consequences if we fail to learn from the social and political failures which stunted the growth of previous generations.

 Electing leaders that abandon "political correctness" puts our national and personal security in immediate jeopardy.  Even worse it puts our children in a position where they will ultimately invest a large percentage of their adult life paying down a cultural debt fueled by social injustice and intolerance.

 The voice that speaks for the collective good needs to reign. This is the voice that calls for harmony over discord. This is the voice that embraces instead of shuns. This is the voice of compassion instead of insensitivity. When these are the voices that resonate from sea to shining sea then we will know the American Dream has moved closer to fullfillment. Then we can confidently pass the baton to the next generation and empower them to control their own destinies.

Always Make Time For Fun

"Learning without reflection is a waste. Reflection without learning is dangerous"

-Confucius-

Recently on Inspiration Monday, our 6th grade students were given the opportunity to reflect on the importance of having fun while learning. They expressed unanimously that when learning was fun they were more engaged and thus performed better academically.  Honestly, I was not surprised with their responses but I was thrilled that they were strongly voicing their learning preferences.

They were emphatic in all of my classes that hands on activities brought their learning experiences to life. Lab experiments were especially favored because they enabled direct involvement in the lessons.  They went on to discuss the joy that game playing brought to the learning experience, citing the fun of competing when using Kahoot or Quizlet.

Some even shared the fun they experienced, moving a beach ball throughout the room, during a Q & A review.

Of the five groups that I teach every day, a couple are particularly social. They often challenge each other's ideas and 

felt that creating a structured debate would be a more productive way to learn. 

Admittedly,  I have some early reservations about giving these groups the opportunity to engage in structured debate. However, if the proper scaffolds are put into place and we establish some group norms, I am confident that a memorable and meaningful learning experience will take place.

As the conversation continued the students really settled in. They felt more empowered to discuss their genuine concerns that were relevant to the learning proces.  One student candidly shared that they needed to move while learning because he had trouble attending for long stretches of time otherwise. This authentic nugget of information strengthened what I already knew about the importance of movement and engagement but I was thrilled that this particular student had the courage to share it.

My co-teacher Kathy St. John  continues to demonstrate a keen understanding for the value of movement. On several occasions this year, we have partnered to create station activities that focus on the various learning intelligences of our students. On all occasions our students have been highly motivated and engaged. Her leadership in the planning and the execution of these activities has been vital to the success of our classroom culture this year.

Another interesting revelation took place when our students were asked about having fun when learning independently.

Some students indicated that they take notes using different bright colors of ink, while others cited using food incentives as  they navigated through their study materials.  One student told us that they put  "gummy bears" on the printed page and when they finished reading several paragraphs, they would indulge. Another student told me how their Dad would provide them with a "sweet treat" based on their success during a study session.  Whatever steps were taken to make studying fun, all of my students indicated that they studied better when those steps were taken.

Educators including Dave Burgess and Julie Adams in their books "Teach Like a Pirate"and "Game Changers" respectively, emphasize the positive impact of engagement on student learning. Both publications share proven engagement best practices and are valuleable pedagogical resources. Their research verifies that students learn better when they are engaged and educators are embracing their philosophies around the globe.  

On a cold February day recently, my students reinforced at least three very important lessons for me that were pertinent to their learning.

1. They will provide honest and meaningful feedback about matters that impact their learning.

2. They are especially passionate about their learning when their learning is engaging and fun. (Using familer technology makes a definite difference.)

3. They will not hesitate to make suggestions on how to create a more fun and engaging learning culture.

Usually my intention is to bring inspiration to my students in various ways,especially on Monday. However on this particular Monday, my students inspired me. They inspired me with their commitment to our classroom community and culture. Through a series of honest and reflective answers, they reinforced the value of engagement and fun in learning. Moreover, they unwittingly challenged me to renew my commitment to providing both of these on a more consistent basis.

The Broken Promise

Janet sat at her kitchen table drinking her evening cup of coffee as tears steamed down her face. The open windows allowed her to hear the waves crashing in the distance. The sound usually brought great comfort to her but tonight they did nothing but leave her unsettled.

Born and raised in Cape Cod, there was not much in life that brought her more joy than all that her beach community had to offer. She had built many strong relationships here as a young girl. Her ancestors were among the town founders and Janet's immediate family were active members of the community. Her father had recently retired after 50 years of service as mayor and her mother was on the executive board at Dawson Memorial Hospital. 

Janet had returned to the Cape fifteen years ago after a failed marriage that resulted in the ultimate departure of her husband without so much as a note. The pull of the shore, her family and a position teaching 2nd grade at the local grammar school made the decision to return home an easy one. With each passing day it was obvious that coming home was the right decision.  Old friendships were renewed and the charm of this wonderful place made her wonder why she had ever left in the first place. There was nothing in life that she was more passionate about, than her hometown. Except for him, he was the love of her life.

Kevin Hope had recently celebrated his 15th birthday on Labor Day weekend at a clambake for the ages. The party was attended by his mother Janet, his grandparents, and a large assortment of family and friends. High School had followed shortly thereafter and Kevin was adjusting nicely. He and his friends were keeping busy with their studies, playing football and still finding time to fish on the beach.

Kevin's dad had left when he was just six  months old and made a decision not to be an active part of his life. He didn't know much about him other than what his Mom referred to him as - the man who she loved once but misjudged. He was not ready for the responsibilities of fatherhood and left one day never to be heard from again. For 15 years Kevin had grown up in a loving home raised by his devoted mother and strongly supported by his extended family.

His grandfather and he had an especially strong bond. He taught him how to swim, how to catch a baseball and most importantly how to catch Stripers. Over the years Kevin's passion for the Cape would match his mothers and he couldn't imagine a better place to grow up.  Year after year he and his grandfather would enter the annual Striper fishing competition and every year they would emerge with the largest Striper.

Fishing was one of Kevin's greatest passions in life and he always looked for opportunities to get to the beach and fish.  The running joke with all that knew him was that, " if you couldn't find Kevin, head to the beach on 51st Street and look for the kid with the fishing pole in front of him.  

Unfortunately Kevin's new schedule allowed little time for fishing. After a few weeks Kevin became frustrated with his inability to manage his new schedule to acccomadate his love for fishing.  Eventually he devised a plan to skip some morning classes a day or two a week in order to steal some time away at the beach and fish.  Kevin's classes were large and his absence went unnoticed at first. He would usually arrive in time for lunch and then resume his day as scheduled.

 Balance was returning to his life and Kevin was happy to be able spend some quality alone time doing one of the things he enjoyed most in life, fishing for Striped Bass.

 For awhile no one was the wiser to his morning excursions. Then one day there was a substitute teacher in Mr. Mooring's Science class who kept meticulous records. Miss Watts had finished taking attendance and noticed that Kevin Hope's name did not appear on the attendance list. She called theschool attendance officer who verified that Kevin was not in school and not marked absent. The attendance officers next move was to call Kevin's mom to inform her that Kevin was currently unaccounted for.

On this beautiful Tuesday morning Janet had just returned to her classroom after dropping her students off at their Music class.  As she prepared to grade some papers the phone rang and the voice on the other end informed her that Kevin turned up absent in Science and was currently unaccounted for after a thorough search.

Janet was alarmed at first but then remembered Kevin complaining lately about not having enough time to fish. She thanked the attendance officer for the call and told her she had a pretty good idea where he was. 

Janet arranged for coverage and headed for the beach. As she pulled up to 51st Street she noticed a boy about Kevin's height with headphones on, standing next to his fishing pole. As she got closer there was no doubt that it was Kevin, who had cut class to go fishing.

As Kevin turned to start packing up, he saw a shocking sight. His mother was 15 yards away and heading towards him. The gig was up and his morning fishing excursions were about to come to a quick halt.

After listening to his mom share how disappointed and worried she was, and telling Kevin how important his education was to his future, they headed back to school.  Kevin tried to tell his side of the story but realized the error of his ways and vowed to stop cutting class.  On the ride back to school Janet grounded Kevin and told him that he was not allowed to fish for a full month. Kevin protested but accepted the punishment.

The fall went by without further incident and then a colder and snowier than usual winter settled in. Storm after storm had forced the residents of the Cape inside throughout most of the winter. Kevin was itching to get to the beach and go fishing, but conditions just wouldn't allow  it.

When spring finally arrived Kevin was thrilled that not only were his Redsox poised to make a run at the pennant but calmer oceans meant the fish would be running soon.

One afternoon after school on a day when a downpour had forced the postponement of his baseball game, Kevin decided to go fishing.  Excitedly he headed home grabbed his fishing gear and headed for the beach. In his haste to get to the beach he forgot to call his Mom and tell her. 

Eventually Janet arrived at the game only to find out that the game had been postponed. Some of the boys were still hanging around and told her that hadn't seen Kevin since fourth period.  Not happy to hear that news she headed for home. When she arrived home she noticed that she had two voicemails. The first was from the school attendence officer informing her that Kevin had cut last period. In anger she rushed to her car and headed for the beach. In her haste she never listened to the second message.

When Janet arrived at the 51st Street beach she was beyond angry. Not only was Kevin cutting school again but he had broken his promise to her and that was heartbreaking.  When she finally arrived at Kevin's fishing spot a joyful Kevin turned and greeted her with a hug and kiss. The look on Janet's face though indicated this was not a coincidental or happy visit. Kevin had caught a 50 lb. Striper and was beyond thrilled to share the news, but his Mom's look worried him. She asked him to pack up immediately and head for the car.

On the way home she began to cry because after informing Kevin about the phone call and the "broken promise" he denied it.  He insisted that he went fishing after school only when he found out the game had been postponed, but had been in school all day. Not only did he break a promise Janet thought, but now he was lying too. This was unacceptable. Janet's next move was to ground Kevin from fishing for two whole months. It would be June before he fished again.  This was more than Kevin could take. He couldn't fish for two months and the most important person in his life thought he was a liar. Distraught he ran out of the car as they pulled in the driveway and headed in a direction away from his home.

Sitting at her kitchen table, Janet called her dad in tears and told him the details of the conflict with Kevin which ended with him running off. Her dad reassured her that things would work out and that he had a good idea where he was.

Sure enough Kevin's grandpa found him drinking a milkshake at their favorite ice cream shop on the Cape called Soft and Sweet. After calling Janet to tell her he found Kevin, he talked to Kevin and assured him that things would work out. Full from the milkshake and satisfied with the conversation, Kevin and his grandfather headed for home.

After hanging up with her dad and learning that Kevin was okay, Janet noticed that there was an additional voice mail message. The school attendance officer was calling back to apologize for the first phone call. It was actually Kevin Jones and not Kevin Hope who had cut last period. The school had regretted the error.  

As Janet hung up the phone she began to cry tears of joy and tears of sadness all at once. Her son was not lying and had not broken a promise after all, but she had refused to believe him despite his assurances otherwise. Now it turns out that his entire story checked out.  How would she repair the damage done to the one relationship in her life that mattered most?

When Kevin returned home a few minutes later it was apparent that his Mom had been crying.  Kevin sat down at the table and listened to Janet's apology. Then he listened as she shared the details of both voicemails. Angry at first Kevin eventually turned empathetic, telling his Mom that he understood why she reacted in the manner she did.  While Janet felt much better now that they had cleared the air, she still had more to say.

She told Kevin that she learned a valuable lesson on this day that would serve her well as both a teacher and a parent. She went on to say that two plus two doesn't always add up to four.  When you gather your facts and confront someone else with your evidence, you should always leave room for doubt and other possible explanations. When you dig in and refuse to listen, you close the door to all other possibilities.  Most importantly you forget to allow for the possibility that things are not always as they seem and perhaps you are being told the truth.  As she found out on this day this can often be the case.  She promised Kevin to keep an open mind in the future and always give him the benefit of the doubt. Kevin nodded, smiled and asked his mother if she could cook him a burger because while the milkshake was a good snack he was still rather hungry.

Janet smiled and replied that takeout was a better plan. Kevin smiled in agreement and said "deal."  They got in the car and headed down the road to their favorite fast food place. As they pulled into Bob's Burger Bonanza they observed a beautiful sunset, thus signaling an end to what had become an emotional and exhausting day.

Words to Live By

""They say a word begins to die when it's been said. I say it's just begun to live."

-Emily Dickinson 

A few years ago I began to realize the inspirational power of Jon Gordon's gifts as a writer, when I read The Energy Bus. The lessons which included taking responsibility for ones own life, making good choices and surrounding yourself with positive people all resonated with me at the time, as I was undergoing a personal and professional transformation.    I was looking to grow and Jon's book was contributing to the inspiration. 

Last year in early January, I read a blog post written by Gordon that emphasized the power of committing to just "one word" over the course of the year in order to create more "meaning and focus " for ones life.(www.jongordon.com/blog/one-word-that-will-change-your-life-2/). 

Inspired by the article, my word for 2015 became "passion."  Every personal and professional endeavor was pursued with an increased level of energy and passion. As a result 2015 was ultimately more positive and productive  in various aspects of my life. I was experiencing greater levels of joy, strengthening existing relationships and building new ones.  Opportunities for growth were becoming available and I was taking advantage of them.  Passion began to replace existing fears and avoidance was reaplaced by action. I was living a more rewarding and fulfilling life.

This year as we ushered in the new year I began to contemplate my "one word" for 2016.  I realized that as a writer and an educator, words mean a great deal me, especially when they precede action. Therefore committing to one word over 365 days just wouldnt do.  I realized what was necessary for my continued personal and professional growth was a commitment to a multitude of words.

The following are a sampling of the words that I will consistently commit to in my quest to stay on the top of my game throughout 2016.

Authentic- Every effort will be made to create opportunities that allow my students to pursue real world learning experiences. I will continue to pursue those professional development opportunities that yield the most potential  for strengthening my craft and improving my practice. An emphasis will continue to be placed on providing students with choices and on developing their individual voices.

Challenge- To prevent complacency and ensure growth I will continue to push my students to levels beyond what they believe they are capable. 

Furthermore I will continue to consistently step out of my comfort zone and continue to take risks that will allow me to grow professionally,

Inspire- I pledge to continue to use any available medium to bring excitement, energy and passion to the culture within our classroom community. Moreover I will continue to exhaust all efforts to elevate my personal spirit as well.

Reflection- Improvement will only occur as my students continue to honestly assess their performance and their approach to learning. This practice must be guided, modeled and supported in order to ensure that growth is achieved. If  I am to continue to maintain a classroom culture which fosters student growth and promotes a love of learning, reflection must remain an integral part of my practice.

Relationships- In order to serve those who depend upon me it is is vital that I understand them as people. The only way to do that is to cultivate relationships that are based on love, trust and respect.  I must be present, interested and invested in all of the relationships that are part of my life.

Connected-I will continue to make valuable connections with amazing educators from all over the world. These connections continue to provide me with inspiration and various resources that allow me to elevate my practice.

The preceding list of words represents just a sampling of those I willl commit to in order to fulfill my responsibilities professionally and personally. Dedication  to "one word" is admirable, It definitely produces the desired results for some, but  for me , committing to just "one word", just won't do. 

I will continue to identify my "words to live by" and then do so accordingly.

A New Way to Give

As humanitarians there are many ways that we can give to each other.

We can volunteer our time.

We can share our talents.

We can donate our earnings.

We can choose to dedicate our lives to helping others, through work in various types of service careers.

We can continue to embrace that it is "better to give than to receive."

As time passes throughout our lives our understanding of this parable deepes. Life experiences and various influences shape our generousity as we grow as people.  On Christmas Day as I watched my love ones joyfully open their gifts, it was clear yet again that truth lies within these wise words. This Christmas though the exchanging of the gifts would conclude with an unexpected lesson in gift giving.

This year I learned that you can actually receive and give at the same time.   

Let me explain.

My sister in law Julie who recently adopted her second child is perhaps one of the most giving people that I know.  Her generousity knows no end. A teacher, she has made a commitment to providing a Christian education for my neice Molly.  Moreover she has spared no expense donating her own funds to underprivileged children and families around the world.  This year she taught me about a "new way to give."  This year she actually bought me a gift that enabled me to give to and help others.

World Vision Charities provide authentic assistance to children and their families living in impoverished global communities. Recently, a gift was purchased by Julie, through them and presented in my name and my honor. This particular gift would purchase school supplies for students and resources for teachers in African schools over the course of one year. Gifts were also purchased and given in the honor of other family members. The gift from my mother in law will cover medical vaccines and doctors visits for children in Africa. As a family whose vocation has always been to serve children we were all quite moved by this gift.

Over the year's I have always been impressed by Julie's generous heart and giving spirit, she is one of the most selfless people I know.  Leave it to her on Christmas Day, to show us all, a new way to give.

Lessons in Empathy

"When you start to develop the powers of empathy and imagination, the whole world opens up to you." 

~Susan Sarandon

Several weeks ago we began to improve our classroom culture by changing the mindset about Monday. Instead of dreading Monday we have fostered an attitude where we have begun to embrace its arrival. Our goal has been to create relevant learning experiences to inspire and elevate the spirit of our students. Each Monday has focused on various themes and their connection to us as a community of learners.  Resilience, self worth, gratitude and service are amongst the themes that we have explored thus far. The conversations that have developed each Monday have revealed a great deal about  the values, goals and achievements of all of the stakeholders within our classroom. 

This past Sunday I was checking my Twitter feed and considering possible themes for  "Inspiration Monday" the following day.  I came across a link to a You Tube video by Dr. Brene Brown comparing  Empathy and Sympathy.  After viewing the tounge and cheek animated video I realized that there are distinct and important differences that separate these two concepts.  Sympathy while an important gesture used to console others, lacks a deep leveI of emotional understanding. In order to attempt to understand the deep emotional feelings of others we need to develop empathy. We need to "walk a mile in their shoes".

 In a Middle School community where social and emotional learming share equal value with academic priorities it is especially important to create an awareness for the importance of empathy. Therefore I decided to explore it the next day as part of " Inspiration Monday".

The conversation started the next day by posing the question What is empathy?  to our students. Each class throughout the day clearly communicated an understanding of the definition and even asked for clarification on the difference between empathy and sympathy. After providing clarification on the two ideas we watched a short video "Can Empathy Change the World."

In this video middle school students shared their thoughts on the value of  empathy. They also shared how it could impact someone else's life. At its conclusion we had a follow up discussion. My students shared examples of situations that required empathy within their lives and gave examples where they have provided it. They felt as long as people were responsive to each other and recognized where situations required empathy, then positive change could take place on a small and global scale. Furthermore they felt the key to change was in consistently and genuinely paying the empathy forward.

On this particular day I learned a great deal about empathy, myself and my students. 

I learned that empathy can occur when we listen and truly seek to understand someone's perspective or it can occur via a gesture that addresses someone else's plight. 

I learned that empathy is a vital component of our humanity. When used effectively it can help to forge connections to build and strengthen relationships.

I learned that while middle school students have a tendency to be more focused on their individual lives than on the collective society ,they clearly understand empathy and have the capacity to provide it for others. When educated on its benefits they too can be empowered to make a positive difference in the lives of others.

Finally I learned that I need to work harder in my personal and professional lives to extend empathy towards others. It is not enough to simply extend sympathy toward others.  Only by offering empathy towards others can I hope to strengthen my connections and relationships with them. 

In order to improve , I must practice building genuine empathy as I seek to truly understand those in my life who I care the most about.  This was an eye opening revelation for sure and remediation requires my immediate attention. Steps need to be taken that address this personal shortcoming, if I am to continue to grow professionally and personally. I look forward to the challenge as I continue my journey as an educator and as a human being.